Emmett's list of way to annoy people at the Cinema
by Fatal Excuses
Summary: Exactly what the title says... It IS funny, I bet you will be laughing you butt of within the first ten.


**First off, most of this isn't mine, 75% actually.**

**I was emailed it, and it was funny. So I decided to share it with you all.**

**Disclaimer: I don't know who it REALLY belongs to, but it's not TOTALL mine.**

**I added some to it, so yeah…**

**Here it is!!!!**

**Emmett's List of Ways to Annoy people at the cinema:**

_Throw popcorn in the air and yell, "It's snowing!"_

_Go, "Oooooh..." whenever anyone kisses._

_Clap when the good guy gets killed._

_During the previews, yell, "Can you fast-forward it?"_

_Whenever the bad guy is doing something devious, say, "Watch out!"_

_Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes._

_Tell the man selling popcorn that the bathroom is flooding._

_Yell out what is going to happen._

_Wear a cape and when it's your turn to get popcorn yell, "I'm Batman! Hahaha!" and run away._

_Say that they cannot sit next to you because you invisible friend already is._

_Dress for every movie as if it were the Rocky Horror Picture Show._

_Use empty chairs next to you as catapults with candy. Aim at specific people behind you and see if you can hit anyone in the back row._

_Wear 3D glasses. Complain loudly how bad the effects are._

_Bring a flashlight. In the middle of the film do shadow puppets on the ceiling._

_Bring a remote control. Complain that you can't change the channel._

_Sit front row, the minute the movie starts run out screaming._

_Every time a character's name is mentioned do the Richmeister. (for a guy named Nick say, the Nickmeister, the Nickenator, Nickarino...)_

_Bring a beach ball. Toss it around._

_Try to start a wave._

_Become a bookie. Take bets on who will die first._

_Sit in the back and throw eggs at the projection window._

_Every time someone curses cover your ears and scream, "No profanity!"_

_Sing with the theme music._

_Bring and use your own air freshener._

_At the ticket booth, request tickets for really old movies, "I'll have two tickets for the Goonies."_

_Throw spit wads on the screen. Try throwing them on the upper part of the screen so they can't get scraped off._

_Pass around a collection plate and see if anyone contributes._

_Point a laser pointer at the screen. Give the audience a laser light show._

_Bring a book and a bright light. Start reading the book with the light on. When someone asks you to turn out the light, yell, "Shh, I'm trying to read!"_

_Use binoculars. Stare at the audience rather than the movie._

_Bring a Nintendo laser gun. Shoot at the screen._

_Clap loudly every time a person walks into the theater late._

_And say, "Did you get a quick in the car?" VERY LOUD_

_When someone kicks the back of your chair, scream, "Ahhh, whiplash!"_

_Ask what the theater's return policy on popcorn is._

_Ask the person at the ticket window, "Do you work here?"_

_Start a standing ovation at the end of the movie._

_Quote all dialogue 4 seconds after it is said on the screen._

_Get up frequently and leave the room while singing "Let's all go to the Lobby to get ourselves a treat"_

_Every time there is a gunshot scream, "Hit the floor!" jump on the floor, and cover your head._

_Wear one of those "cat in the hat" top hats._

_Play musical chairs, getting up frequently and moving right next to someone sitting by themselves._

_Bring your own beanbag chair and sit in the aisle._

_Before the movie begins, tape fart cushions to various chairs in the theater room._

_  
Bring a portable air popper, pop your own popcorn._

_Bring a water gun and shoot it at anyone who begins talking then say very loudly, "SHH!"_

_Before the commercials start and people are just coming in and shout so that people outside can hear, "I'M SO VERY SORRY! YOU'RE TOO LATE!"_

_Tie a cardboard box around your waist and walk up and down the aisles shouting "Get your popcorn, peanuts!"_

_Cough really loudly right at the most important part of the movie, so nobody can hear it, like when the killer's name is going to be said._

_Laugh hysterically during the sad parts in the movie, cry during the funny ones._

_Bring a pager or cell phone and set them off every 5 minutes, you can also set off a watch alarm if you have a loud one._

_Say "Shhhhh" every 5 minutes._

_Pass by a room that's showing a movie you've already seen, put your head into the room, and scream the end_

"DONE!" I boomed.

Alice was peering over my shoulder, reading it.

"Emmett, you really going to do them!!!"

"Yeah. SO?"

"Here, let my change that for you."

Title now says:

**List of things Emmett is NOT allowed to do in a cinema**

I read it.

"Alice!" I whined "It's no fun then!'

"Too bad."

Then she walked out.

"Damn pixie." I muttered.

"I knew you were going to say that!" She yelled back.

"I KNOW! I KNOW! Damn psychic pixie."

**!!!!!!!!!!!!!END!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**Yes..Well….as I said earlier, most of these aren't mine. The Twilight parts ARE mine however, and some of them, I added onto the list, so those are mine also.**

**Thank you!**

**~Fang**


End file.
